OMG, that is an incredible face and eyes. It's about time you fell in love and I can see why. Boys are going to be falling on their knees!
My opinion is you did a pretty good job with your original post. Personally, I would have put a few highlights in appropriate places. Maybe add a little color to her cheeks. I don't know if any shadow would be appropriate. You wouldn't want to thin the shape of your face.
Anotehr things I like to do is make a 50% grey layer above, set it to overlay or soft light, then use a burn or or dodge tool in selected places. I like to do it on the irises as it gives an exotic, even haunting, quality to the eyes. I don't think the eyelashes or outline of the eye should be sharpened as it IMO takes away from the rest of the face, placing too mush emphasis on the eyes and drawing the eye, my eye, to only the eyes, which I find distracting. You didn't do this but some of the sample works did. I think in your handling, there needs to be more contrast, maybe even selective sharpening without taking away from the softness of the rest of her face.
Just my observations for what they're worth.