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MrToM
Guru
- Messages
- 3,595
- Likes
- 3,322
A young lad is being trained in a big 'sell everything' hardware store.
The assistant in charge of training tells the lad, "There are only two things you need to know....Always be polite to the customer and always push a sale."
He demonstrates with the next customer to come to their counter.
"Good morning Sir", said the assistant, "How may I help you today?"
The customer replied, "Hello, I'd like some fertilizer please."
"Certainly Sir", the assistant beamed, "As a matter of fact it just so happens we have a special deal on fertilizer at the moment....buy two bags and get £50 off the price of a lawnmower."
"A lawnmower?", quizzed the customer, "Why would I want a lawn mower?"
"Well", said the assistant, "This fertilizer is so good your lawn will be up to your knees by next week and you'll be back to buy a lawnmower.....I couldn't guarantee we'd have the special deal next week though.", pushed the assistant.
"Good point", agreed the customer, "OK, two bags of fertilizer and a lawnmower then please", the customer said feeling he'd just got the bargain of the century.
As the customer walked away the assistant turns to the young lad and says, "There you go, always be polite to the customer and always push a sale.....you try with the next customer."
Sure enough when the next customer arrived the young lad sprang into action...
"Good morning Sir....how can I help you today?", he was almost word perfect.
"Yes, I'd like some sanitary towels please", said the customer.
"Certain Sir....as it happens we have a special deal on at the moment, buy two boxes and get £50 off the price of a lawnmower!", the young lad said eagerly.
"A lawnmower?", exclaimed the customer, "Why would I want a lawnmower?"
"Well", said the lad, "Your weekend's buggered so you may as well mow the lawn!"
The assistant in charge of training tells the lad, "There are only two things you need to know....Always be polite to the customer and always push a sale."
He demonstrates with the next customer to come to their counter.
"Good morning Sir", said the assistant, "How may I help you today?"
The customer replied, "Hello, I'd like some fertilizer please."
"Certainly Sir", the assistant beamed, "As a matter of fact it just so happens we have a special deal on fertilizer at the moment....buy two bags and get £50 off the price of a lawnmower."
"A lawnmower?", quizzed the customer, "Why would I want a lawn mower?"
"Well", said the assistant, "This fertilizer is so good your lawn will be up to your knees by next week and you'll be back to buy a lawnmower.....I couldn't guarantee we'd have the special deal next week though.", pushed the assistant.
"Good point", agreed the customer, "OK, two bags of fertilizer and a lawnmower then please", the customer said feeling he'd just got the bargain of the century.
As the customer walked away the assistant turns to the young lad and says, "There you go, always be polite to the customer and always push a sale.....you try with the next customer."
Sure enough when the next customer arrived the young lad sprang into action...
"Good morning Sir....how can I help you today?", he was almost word perfect.
"Yes, I'd like some sanitary towels please", said the customer.
"Certain Sir....as it happens we have a special deal on at the moment, buy two boxes and get £50 off the price of a lawnmower!", the young lad said eagerly.
"A lawnmower?", exclaimed the customer, "Why would I want a lawnmower?"
"Well", said the lad, "Your weekend's buggered so you may as well mow the lawn!"
Steve
Retired Administrator
- Messages
- 7,868
- Likes
- 1,506
[FONT=&]A guy was in a bar about as drunk as it's possible to get. [/FONT]
[FONT=&]A group of guys notice his condition and decide to be good Samaritans and take him home. [/FONT]
[FONT=&]First, they stand him up to get to his wallet so they can find out where he lives, but he keeps falling down. He fell down eight more times on the way to the car, each time with a real thud. After they get to his house, he falls down another four times getting him to the door. [/FONT]
[FONT=&]His wife comes to the door, and one guy says, "We brought your husband home." [/FONT]
[FONT=&]The wife asks, "Where's his wheelchair? [/FONT]
[FONT=&]A group of guys notice his condition and decide to be good Samaritans and take him home. [/FONT]
[FONT=&]First, they stand him up to get to his wallet so they can find out where he lives, but he keeps falling down. He fell down eight more times on the way to the car, each time with a real thud. After they get to his house, he falls down another four times getting him to the door. [/FONT]
[FONT=&]His wife comes to the door, and one guy says, "We brought your husband home." [/FONT]
[FONT=&]The wife asks, "Where's his wheelchair? [/FONT]
Steve
Retired Administrator
- Messages
- 7,868
- Likes
- 1,506
Back and forth . . . . Back and forth . . . .
In and out . . . . In and out . . . .
A little to the right . . . . A little to the left . . . .
She could feel the sweat on her forehead . . . .
Between her breasts . . . . And, trickling down the small of her back . . . .
She was getting near to the end.
He was in ecstasy . . . . with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved . . .
Forwards then backwards.
Forward then backwards.
Again . . . . and, again . . . .
Her heart was pounding now . . . .
Her face was flushed . . . .
She moaned . . . . softly at first, then began to groan louder . . . .
Finally . . . . totally exhausted . . . . she let out a piercing scream . . . .
She shouted:
"OK, OK, you smug bastard, I can't parallel park. You do it!"
In and out . . . . In and out . . . .
A little to the right . . . . A little to the left . . . .
She could feel the sweat on her forehead . . . .
Between her breasts . . . . And, trickling down the small of her back . . . .
She was getting near to the end.
He was in ecstasy . . . . with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved . . .
Forwards then backwards.
Forward then backwards.
Again . . . . and, again . . . .
Her heart was pounding now . . . .
Her face was flushed . . . .
She moaned . . . . softly at first, then began to groan louder . . . .
Finally . . . . totally exhausted . . . . she let out a piercing scream . . . .
She shouted:
"OK, OK, you smug bastard, I can't parallel park. You do it!"
