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One possible improvement: Everything in the scene except the text is three dimensional. If the text were made 3D / extruded, I bet the floating in space look would be even more convincing.
Just a thought.
T
I agree, Clare, 3d would decrease the visual contrast, but I think that's exactly what I would like -- something more subtle that you have to look at for a while to really see what's going on. Almost a little optical treasure hunt. LOL.
T