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funny things you've heard


inkpad.t

inkpad.t

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Hi all...

Was just wondering whats one off the funniest things you've heard ?.

I was listening to a radio station yesterday ... and one of the comments/sayings it came out with from the DJ was this.. " If I Had A Pound every Time I thought of the wife.... I would think of her more often".

Just thought That that was really funny.. ( my warp sense of humor ).

So whats the funniest things you hear ?, from any where or any one.
 
These probably aren't very funny if you don't ski, but, if you're having a beer with other guys that work on the mountain, here are some classics that always get a laugh (and / or a groan).


1) Student to ski instructor: "Excuse me. Where do they store the moguls in the summer?"


2) Q: "How many ski instructors does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
A: "Only two are required. One does the work and the other analyzes the turns".


3) Q: "What's the difference between God and a ski instructor?"
A: "God doesn't think he's a ski instructor."

I'll stop now before I dig myself in any deeper. ;-)

T
 
omg.....:banghead:...so many, but not one comes to mind..(brainfart)...... need to think on this one. this could be one seriously funnythread good idea inkpad
 
F1 commentator:

'And there goes Senna, oh no it's not it's err Mansell err wait a minute, yes it's Senna':bustagut:
 
Well I didn't actually here this it's a joke from an email.

A man was stopped by the police around 2 am and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."
The officer then asked, "Really?
Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"


The man replied, "That would be my wife."
 
One of the guys I work with overheard our boss say that "nothing is impossible". His quick reply was "oh yeah? Lets see you dribble a football" (American football for my overseas friends)
 
I will never forget this question I was asked one time. I was working for Panera Bread right out of high school, so back in '99. Anyway I had this elderly lady come in, probably around 80ish. I was the cashier at the time. She places her order then asks the strangest question ever in my career. "Do you accept cash?". I will be honest it took every ounce of strength I had to keep a straight face, even my boss who was behind me had a hard time keeping a straight face.
 
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